Going back to church

This past weekend I went to church for the first time in a long time, and I enjoyed it. I have spent many years saying I did not believe in God (well, more that I didn't see any evidence of a God) and did not go to church. A lot of things let to me letting go of my faith. My dad died, at 39. My grandma died because of breast cancer, and she was quite young. My other grandma went from being completely healthy to dying in just a couple of months because of cancerous brain tumors. All of these things happened and they pushed my faith away from me. How could my "God" want to take these people away from me? What bigger plan were they serving?

I was angry, for a very long time. I did not want to believe. I was pushed even further away from Christianity with the debate of evolution vs. creation. I am a biologist, who not surprisingly, who believes that dinosaurs once roamed the earth, birds evolved from dinosaurs, etc. etc. and because creationism does not mention dinosaurs and only dates our earth to be a few thousand years old, I would never believe that side of things. This doesn't make me a bad person. Show me the evidence! There's evidence of evolution, where's all of the creation evidence? I actually had someone tell me I was going to hell for believing in evolution, and they were even angrier when I asked them where I'd go if I didn't believe in hell.

I also have a real problem with many aspects of specific Christian "things". The Catholic Church has done and does so many things that I strongly disagree with that it would keep me from ever being Catholic. There are conservative Lutheran churches where I used to live that the families have 12+ children and they dress very conservative (women wear bonnets, and children even have to wear ankle length skirts), they do not have TV's or computers. That's fine if they want to be conservative. But I had a real problem with some people of this faith holding their own children back, I know someone from this group that actually was angry that his son wanted to go to college, because he wanted him to get married after high school and start having a family of his own. They hold their own kids back, teaching that life is God's journey, and that learning subjects such as history in school are foolish. It's enough to make anyone question their religion.

I was raised Lutheran- Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, to be exact. They are a fairly liberal Protestant denomination, the largest in North America. They allow women pastors, and allow homosexual ministers to have relationships, though they discourage it. They have never taken an official position on evolution vs. creation. They let you basically think for yourself. They're kinda like the people who when you do show up for church they're like "Hey there glad you could make it, yeah God!" Very laid back, many services are contemporary, using modern Christian music throughout the service. I have been feeling for a while now that maybe a little faith, perhaps a re-connection with God, will help me through difficult and trying times. I don't plan on reading the bible every night and judging people who for so long like myself did and continue not to believe.

The great thing about our country has always been our freedom of religion (albeit we have taken away some freedoms post 911, which is a shame, since this is in our FIRST AMENDMENT). I spent some time deciding if the Lutheran church was still right for me over others, and after investigating I decided to stay with the religion I was baptized and confirmed of. So this is my chance for another go at religion. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

~Have a great day~